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It’s always freaking hilarious to see a post on facebook which says, ‘Like this status and I’ll give you my opinion,’ or something to that effect. I laugh because generally I know what to expect and I laugh because there’s usually a lot of people who like these statuses. I always give them a like, just to see whether they meet my expectations or not. Sometimes, you get surprised.
Now, I’ve mentioned this before, most of the time when someone does one of these things, they lie through their teeth and just go for the most diplomatic approach ever. It’s like watching my Mum be introduced to a stripper or something. She’s secretly judging the living crap out of this person while she’s sitting there making pleasant conversation. Fuckin’ hilarious.
At any rate, you get the usual:
‘Like: That we had a single class together and you were good at that class
Dislike: That we don’t talk any more,’
And that’s the entire thing. It’s a bit of, ‘why bother?’ and a lot of whoop dee doo.
People know this and they know to expect this but they like ‘em anyway.
Why?
Fuckin’ curiosity. People want to know what others really think of them, expecting it to be all terrible and not believing a single word that’s positive despite it being true. Everyone thinks that everyone else hates them. Straight up.
It’s not entirely wrong. A lot of people will hate you for no reason and a lot more will hate you for some reason. Whoop dee doo.
Why do you care? Especially if it’s someone that you mutually hate.
Other than that and related to that, when someone posts up one of those statuses and says they’re going to be honest or brutal, they hardly are. I did one and it’s tough to dislike shit about your friends. I mean they’re your friends. But I found/invented stuff for them. Other people copped a full swing of dislike. I made sure to make the positives outweigh the negatives and to keep it civil. None of that petty name calling. I didn’t lose anyone but that was never an issue. It was a case of ‘it is your fault for clicking like,’.
But some people freeze up. I understand that it’s hard but, shit, for the people that you don’t talk to much, it becomes a fuckin’ cake walk. Why sugar coat it? Why do you care? Is one person’s opinion of you so valuable? Are you still seeking their validation? Are you that insecure?
And if you answer, ‘Yes, I am insecure,’ then why bother doing one of these things? You’re going to over-analyse it and fuck it up.
These things don’t take an incredible amount of courage or at least they shouldn’t. It’s one of the cases where you throw somebody enough rope to make a noose with it and then see if they hang themselves with it.
Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.
What I would like to see is a status where the original poster invites others to give their damn straight, brutal, honest, cold-blooded opinion on them. Imagine that. Imagine the amount of drama that could be caused.
Of course I’m not going to give a shot.
Not just now.
I like to think of this as a proper blog sometimes, maybe even my own talk-back radio station or magazine with different articles, in my more fanciful and imaginative moments. I don’t see bored ass, teenagers in their angst, bad moods or notions of being misunderstood sullenly scrolling through their dash and I don’t see a group of intelligent but a little bit socially awkward people that like the almost voyueristic way you can look at people’s private feelings, thoughts, opinions and emotions that they have splattered all over tumblr and the internet reading little pockets of mildly interesting material. In my more imaginative, fanciful and rather arrogant moments, I see an audience watching, reading and listening with rapt attention and then putting it down and thinking. Anyway, the purpose of that long ass paragraph was this: I have segments, recurring articles and regular guests and I’m thinking this one might be another.
I have done a few “Sweet Jibbly Jiblets” rants and probably six or so “Blurr’s Most Hated Radio Song” but this time I’m introducing, “Facebook Failures”, a compilation of the three most annoying, thought provoking or interesting pieces I’ve seen on facebook every so often. I figure I already complain about this enough as it is that it might as well go into its own little category.
1. The funniest status.
This one pretty much stated two of the most basic things I spot in the less rational and more, let’s just say, volatile group of facebook people. Essentially, it stated both that it was tired of helping people and then never getting any help when they need it and that they were tired of living in this particular suburb.
Come on now. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, if you expect a good deed to not just be its own reward but to also come with one “HEY! I HELP YOUR ARSE OUT NOW HELP ME/BE NICE TO ME” card, then you’re an idiot. People do nice things, you do nice things, do not expect them to look even in your eyes because when you put ‘em on the scales, they might look you’re owed something but to others it might look like you owe them. Just shut up and roll with it. That’s one thing I’ve learned, do not ever think you deserve something because chances are you’ve forgotten when someone helped you out.
The next part is the wanting to leave the surburb/city/country/continent. Why bother? An asshole gets on a plane in Perth, it’s the same asshole who gets off in Adelaide. You’re comfy here, parents looking after everything and you don’t have to worry about rent/board/bills/food/water/everything else. You just worry about your casual/part time job and whatever education your chasing up. Saying you want to leave is a poor and rather desperate excuse for attention. If you really did have all these forces making you want to go, you’d be gone. You’d be an independent person already and you’d just go, you’d find a fucking way.
Now, what actually makes this hilarious is two things. The first being the fact so many people rush to help out. “Oh babe, inbox me if you need, love youuuu,” was popular. The second was the fact that someone had called this person out on something and the reaction was “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. SHUT UP. I HATE YOU,” or words to that effect. Which just makes me think that, yes, it was about them and man, that’s some funny shit.
2. The standard, almost intellectual status which reflects a good idea but in a stupid manner.
This one was actually rather good but, for me, it was just presented wrongly. It had to do with Australia’s constitution not actually stating any real rights. I mean the only definite rights you get as an Aussie are, the right to vote and the right to freedom of religion. That’s it. After that, we enter the realm of implied rights and freedoms. Now, this one handle the idea that as Australians, the constitution doesn’t actually give us the freedom of speech and apparently this person was arguing with an idiot. Yeah. There are much better and much more direct ways to win that argument. But nice thought, I appreciated that much but not so much presentation.
There’s a reason I want a republic, perhaps based off of an European model but definitely with a set Bill of Rights or Document of Freedoms, or whatever. A bit of paper which says, “All citizens will have these rights and they cannot be breached,”. And that status said it all. We need it because we don’t have it and it’d just be easier than teaching people all about our current constitution.
3. The status which wants to be intelligent but just can’t be.
Now, number two puts this one in the shade. The second one was actually not bad and came from a source which, on a whole if you ignore lots of things, isn’t too bad and you can do a lot worse. This one came from someone who is, rather more simple than that.
The idea was a status which said, “Violence doesn’t solve everything, it’s much more logical and reasonable to talk a problem out,”
The immediate response on all the comments? Yes, yes it does.
I laughed. I’m not a huge believer in violence over stupid matters. There’s just too much to lose. Punch a guy in an argument and be locked up or knocked out. Talk it out, maybe argue with the fool and simply reap the rewards of running rings around him and even getting some of his friends on board with your ideas. However, I do think sometimes violence is the last resort and much like that fire axe in the case with the glass which says “Break glass in case of emergency,”, sometimes the glass needs to be broken.
But wow.
“Violence wrks uu jst gotta be clevar about how u do it,”
That statement came up. And wow.
That’s why I keep the number of friends on facebook around. I keep ‘em around so I can track what’s going on in their little worlds, to see how these people, the majority of people, think.
So, whether you’re “smashin’ cunts”, “TIRED OF EVERYTHING” or “OMG! You just don’t get it,” I’ll read it and think on it.
Every day, my news feed will fill up with more Facebook Failures
