The aim of this tumblr was to provide an out of the way space for my rants and thoughts about useless and not so useless stuff.

I figured Facebook didn't need these posts which span hundreds of words clogging up the feed.

So, to that end, I created this happy little tumblr.

If you know who I am, good for you. If you know stuff about me, good for you. If you want to talk, discuss, argue or converse then the appropriate actions,

2nd July 2012

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Horror Survival Games: The New FPS?

I don’t know what it is with the last 12 months or so but I’ve noticed a lot more of these horror survival games being released. Instead of a game placing you in a Fantasy Movie or an Action Movie, you are now the start in a psychological horror movie. You are our survivor and you’re now solving puzzles, running like hell and FREAKING THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

I mean let’s take a look at some of the titles being released. The big ones are Allan Wake and The Walking Dead. I suppose you can throw Amnesia in there as well. These are games where there is still combat involved but a lot more of puzzle solving, stealth and running are involved too. It provides a nice change to what you usually do in a game. Usually, if you have an enemy or a series of enemies, you smash through them with your M4A1 or your mighty magical war-hammer. You don’t turn off your torch and fucking leg it.

But that’s the kind of thing these new games are trying to promote. Less fighting and more running. Less frustrating and more frightening. Puzzles and little details too. It’s no longer a case of, proceed to objective A, kill enemies then look for the huge fucking neon sign which says ‘OBJECTIVE’ or the mini-map and quest tracker which say ‘Go to Red Rock and break 15 boxes of Plague Contagion!’. It’s more, listen to creepy music and noises, look for a key, use key to open a door and then find a way to turn to the power back on. ONLY THEN TO SEE THE FREAKY LITTLE GIRL WITH KNIVES FOR EYES.

These horror survival games kinda remind me of the original Half-Life. Now, the original Half-Life was one hell of a game. You spent your time alternating between two types of game-play; puzzle solving and shooting. You would shoot aliens for a little bit and then need to figure out how to cross the electrified water. Then they’d throw you a jumping puzzle. It was good though. Puzzles, fighting and jumping. Gordon Freeman is probably one of the few action heroes with a physics degree.

While these new games retain some of that Half-Life feel, a lot of them are now focused on stealth and turning your torch off. It’s more avoiding danger and finding a way out rather than finding your way to danger and blasting your way out.

Beyond the game-play differences there’s also the fact that many of these games are relying on Kickstarter projects and donations to get off the ground. Games like the SCP variants are some relatively freaky games and they’re free. The guy who knocked up the original SCP did in two days during lunch-breaks. It’s a staircase simulator but it’s still plenty freaky.

So, I’m stuck wondering why there’s this change to this genre because usually these things follow a pattern. But I guess maybe people just wanted something different, maybe they wanted to scare themselves a little.

Now, while I don’t deal overly well with scary stuff, at least not the incredibly gory stuff, these games provide a cool alternative to the wash of action games and make for some great Youtube Let’s Play vids.

On a side note, I really hope someone makes a sandboxy RPG from The Stand by Stephen King. Something about being a survivor in the post super-flu world catches my attention.

Tagged: FPS gamesGamesfantasyrpgshorrorsurvivalPCWHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKThe Walking DeadAllan WakeAmnesiaSCPPenumbraCry of FearHalf-LifeGordon FreemanThe Standstephen king

6th June 2012

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Skyrim Revisited.

I saw the trailer for Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dawn Guard and pretty much went, ‘Hrmmm, vague, vampire like monsters with some soul eating involved. Pretty neat but maybe not enough to get me to play again,’ and then I saw the part with crossbows. My reaction changed. ‘HOLY FUCKING CHEESE TRIANGLES! CROSSBOWS. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY! I WANT A CROSSBOW AND MOUNTED COMBAT!’ is what I said.

So, in light of the Dawn Guard trailer showing me the fucking weapon I wanted to use since Oblivion, I decided to play Skyrim again. Seriously, Morrowind was so good on weapon variety, story, quests and other crap and Oblivion just kinda sucked. AND IT DIDN’T HAVE CROSSBOWS. CROSSBOWS ARE AWESOME. Nothing makes you feel more like a vampire hunter than a top hat, woodaxe, Abe Lincoln beard and a crossbow.

I had lost my old save file when I upgraded my computer, so it was a fresh start which was part of the reason why I didn’t go back and play it after I got my new pc. I was bored of Skyrim and I didn’t want to go back to pissing around with no perks, skills, armour or cash. Nor did I want to do the quests again. So, I ignored it, played Pokemon TCG, MW3 and the surprisingly enjoyable Warlock: Master of the Arcane. However, this week I saw that trailer and I decided to play it again.

Holy crap man. I have never seen so many dragons with ADHD. I’ll be fighting a dragon, who just swooped down on me while I was on my way to a quest and it’ll kill my horse. Then it’ll engage every other target in a five hundred yard radius. I’m left chasing this fucking flying lizard around, bow in hand, screaming ‘COME BACK HERE! I JUST WANT TO TALK AND TO TAKE YOUR SOUL SO I CAN SHOUT MORE!’. Other than that, it’s been good to replay.

There’s just something so very satisfying about sneaking up behind someone, covering their mouth with your hand, tilting their neck forward to spill blood away from you and give more throat to slash and then cutting their throat and leaving them to bleed out on the cold, damp floor.

Or firing an arrow, watching it sail through the air and embed itself in some fool’s skull. Their head is smacked back in a shower of blood and then they hit the floor. Their muppet friend just looks at the dead body and goes, ‘Huh? Is someone there?’. Awesome.

The gory combat of Skyrim makes up for those terrible inventory searches for potions and annoying guards. I mean charging across at a guy, blocking his attack and then slashing his head off has a nice feel to it. Or just slamming your sword so far through a guy it pops out the other side.

I like Skyrim for all of that gore and combat. But I really appreciate the way every little aspect of your character’s journey can just be turned into some sort of rp-ing fanfic. I mean the story just writes itself. Take my current character. He’s the Dragonborn, soon to be head of the Thieves’ Guild, Legate of the Imperial Legion and an assassin of the Dark Brotherhood. This guy leads like seven secret lives! I’m hard pressed to lead one, non-secret life.

So, I’m taking another look at Skyrim and you know what?

I’m liking what I’m seeing.

Tagged: SkyrimCROSSBOWSBIATCHDawn GuardElder ScrollsOblivionMorrowindgamespcCHEESE TRIANGLESdragonslongrun on sentencesFUS ROH DAH

27th February 2012

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Tetris: Building Lines and Building Lives.

This time in 2010 saw me sitting in some classroom with about twenty other people staring blankly at a computer screen, bored beyond belief, and looking for something to do. I was in my Certificate 2 in IT, which is a fancy way of saying I was in a class where the major lesson was “THIS IS YOUR COMPUTER, THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT AND THAT’S WHY WE STUDY!” and the hardest lesson was, “Okay class, I want you to open Word and answer the question, WHAT IS A PERIPHERAL DEVICE?”. I wish I was joking and I also wish I was joking when I say that at least 5 people failed that class and at least 2 people couldn’t fucking answer the question. Anyway, I was doing five other classes which I thought would be difficult and it was suggested we take an easy certificate class to lighten the load and give us a qualification. I just wanted a class to nap in or study for other classes.

Anyway, that’s the setting for what became the golden age of tetris or at least that’s what it was for me. I got bored one lesson and decided to play some tetris. I like to claim I was the first to play tetris in that class and sparked that entire scene in the class but who gives a fuck? So, I played tetris and eventually someone noticed what I was doing and tried to beat me. They set the high score at 28, 000 or something. Easy shit, however, back at the beginning that seemed nigh on impossible. I eventually broke it and set the record at 35,000 and then again at 40,000 odd. Then someone who I didn’t know well started playing and broke that high score and she set the record at maybe 50,000. We thought that was high shit and we struggled to get close to that mark.

Then MR 28,000 decided he’d just photo-shop a high-score together and had a score of 88, 888. We called him out on it, our evidence wasn’t the terribly pixel lines and the fact it was all 8’s but the fact that we thought that was impossible. So, the game went on. I broke the record again at set at 68,000. Then one day I sitting peacefully in Chem during the small break in our double period and there’s a knock on the window and my friend is waving a printout of the screen shot of her high score. It’s 75,000 odd. She was so proud of that. I think that one lasted a fortnight before the record was mine again and set at the 80,000 mark. That lasted maybe 2 days before the record was 90,000 odd. And then we broke the 100,000 mark.

The 100,000 mark saw a shift in tactics. I started playing from level 10 at the beginning thinking that if I could just practice at that pace then the switch from level 9 to 10 wouldn’t be so bad. It turned out that it was just better to play at level ten. Then my friend found another tactic and pretty much started a game style which is now pretty much standard for me.

And that’s where things got real big real quick. We went from my high score of say 107,000 to a high score of 150,000 to my new high score of 350,000 and then I got blown out of the water when my set a new score. Her score was 750,000 or something similar. That lasted some time before one of us broke that big 1,000,000 mark. Fuck, we went from thinking 28,000 was the big time to being disappointed if we didn’t break 100,000 easily. I got to about 3,000,000 and was stoked. No one was ever beating that bad boy. No way, no how. How wrong was I?

Very fucking wrong. I came back one day and the high score was a whopping 5,000,000 odd. I made her a crown for her achievement and decided, “Fuck it, time to retire, second place isn’t bad,” and I stopped playing. Every now and then I’d get bored and I would play a couple of games and the closest I came was about 2,000,000. The record lasted 11 months or so I believe and then I came back.

I was bored. My pc is so destroyed that it can only play tetris and minecraft without killing itself, (At least until Tuesday/Wednesday!), so I played some tetris. And it was magnificent. I hit the 5,000,000 mark and thinking that the record was in the 6 million range I just kept going. I asked my friend what the high score was and she told me it was 5.4 million or so. Not any more. It became 6.5, then 7.5, then 8.5 and eventually ended at 9, 436, 919.

Yeah, I took my tetris crown back. I don’t know how long it will last but it’s mine again.

The point is tetris, like I mentioned in one of my first posts ever, is very related to life. You spend a lot of time building things up just to knock them down, you can recover from mistakes you make and build better or you can just be overwhelmed by bad luck and just never catching a break. Tetris was the game that got me one of my best friends and gave us something to compete over and breaking that record was extremely satisfying, even if it was kinda mean to take away the one sort of achievement my friend liked to brag about. Tetris was the thing she could destroy me at. Tetris and spending money on crap.

Tetris is a great game. No matter how good Skyrim is, no matter how many people play MW3 or Battlefield 3 and no matter how many people play WoW, Tetris will out last them all.

And it deserves to.

Tagged: TetrisHIGH SCOREgamesboredfriends

27th February 2012

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The Long Wait

Ever since I started working and saving money I only ever two things I really wanted to buy; a car and a new computer. My current pc is about 4-5 years old now and is dying. I mean seriously, it’s pretty much only clinging to life right now. The best game it can operate stably is Minecraft and by stably I mean, that’s the only game it will run without bluescreening, then refusing to load and finally taking a grand total of 3 hours just to start again. And even then it only operates for about 4 hours before repeating the fucking process. So, the long wait is coming to a close.

Saturday saw me drag my mother down to a pc store, talk to a couple of stereotypical computer people and put down an order for a brand spanking new pc with probably five times the power of my current machine. Oh baby, oh yeah, work it. It’s probably a little sad when you see that your new pc will have an i7 and you start drooling a little and imagine running Skyrim on ultimate after 108 hours of gameplay at low. The problem is I’ll lose all my games because my current pc won’t even back-up steam files without crashing and dying and. for all I know, cursing my family to 2000000 years in some sort of hell. I wouldn’t put it past my pc to do that. I mean, it has had 4-5 years of me ranting and raving in its presence, it has to have picked some things up from me.

Getting a new pc after all this time is kinda interesting. I’ll lose my games, except for MW3 because I copied to an external from my brother’s machine but it’s MW3 who fucking cares, I’ll have to learn my way around windows 7 and I’ll lose all my passwords and the like from Firefox. I’ll also lose what has become my most reliable friend, entertainment system and time wasting partner, I don’t know how to react to that. It is just a machine but it’s my machine. We spent pretty much at least 3 hours together everyday for the last 4 years. That’s more than what I spend with my bloody family and friends combine. Although, I suppose a lot of my friend interactions do cross over with the computer time as well.

So, while I’ll be stuck playing MW3, at least until I install Skyrim and Space Marine, and I’ll be messing around with a new OS and sorting out my browser preferences, (I’m dreading the inevitable use of IE to download firefox or chrome) I’ll be missing my old companion.

It’s a bitter-sweet moment. My computer has lasted a while and has kept me entertained for a long time but now it has just become too unreliable and unstable. It’s time to move on. This up and down is just hurting both the computer and myself. It’s time to move on to a BRAND NEW, SEXY, POWERFUL AND RELIABLE PC! YAY! And this one will rot on the side of my room. I may scavenge parts but I doubt it.

The long wait for a new pc is almost over. i just have to make it through today and tomorrow and then I can explore the world of options that come with having a new pc. It’s going to be good, I’ll be able to play Valve games without my pc trying to kill itself. I won’t have to skimp on the graphics. I’LL BE ABLE TO PLAY WITH SHADOWS N SHIT. That’ll be a new experience.

Fun, fun and fun.

Tagged: computersupgradesystemSkyrimMW3gamesDYING BASTARD PCold friend

7th February 2012

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Star Wars: Republic Commando

Now, when it comes to Star Wars only two characters really caught my attention in the prequels. General Grievous and R2-D2. Both are pretty badass and both end up doing some cool stuff. However, the parts of the movies which really catch my attention are those with the Clone Troopers because I think the idea of clone soldiers is interesting and the way they operate is just so very entertaining. So, anyway, when I saw that Commando was like $10, (Gotta love those Steam sales, folks,) I snapped it up and figured $10 was a small price to pay if it was crap.

So, far it hasn’t been. The controls are clunky, a little hard to work with the tactical design, but it is interesting gameplay. The graphics are sub par, I mean it doesn’t include 1400X900 monitor size. The weapons, kinda cool, as it’s essentially the dc-17m blaster and then a series of quick, interchangeable parts to give you a wide range of weapons systems. Anti-armour, sniping and standard assault rifle/smg style. Very cool. And the little vibro-blade hidden in the gauntlets, like a bloody Ezio assassin’s blade. Also cool.

Anyway, the clones were always interesting. Primarily, because they are expendable and essentially the same person, like twins, but with completely different opinions, personalities and styles. The fact was they were a rather, I hate to say shoddy, but a quick fix plot solution to me. How do we make an army of expendable soldiers to fight droids? They can’t be droids, they need to be humans. BAM! Clones. It makes them interesting, to be completely limited in thought and independence but better than droids. And their stories, and plenty of the other war stories and missions, were much more entertaining than Anakin Skywalker’s descent into emo-hood. I don’t know whether that’s a sign of me not being able to sit through a movie without loads of action like a lot of brain dead Transformer movie fans but I think it’s just more the idea that the clones deal less in politics and emo and more in sci-fi tech and and were really cool. That’s why I like the Clone Wars series.

Anyway, as for gameplay, I’m undecided. I think it’s going to have way more single player content than MW3, story line will be fairly basic and I think game ply is going to be interesting. But there’s that lore aspect in the story which makes it really cool. Plus it holds to the time honored tradition of elite space marine units. Spartans, Marines, Space Marines, call ‘em what you like, they’re all running around in outer space with cool weapons.

Tagged: Star WarsThe Clone WarsRepublic Commandogamessteam saleclonesinterestingloreAWESOME TECH

5th February 2012

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“I’m never going back,”

That was something I said a while ago, almost a year or so ago now, I said I’d never go back to playing World of Warcraft. And I meant it and I still do in some ways but in some other ways I kinda miss it. It was a part of my life for a while there and it was something that I built myself up on. I was never the best, no where near, but I was able to see some of the stuff that only the harder players could see and it was so gloriously fun at times. However, I gave it up because it came to be so fucking repetitive I just couldn’t take it. It was like going to work each day and it wasn’t a game any more.

Anyway, for those who haven’t played WoW or haven’t played WoW at a serious raiding level, to me they amount to pretty much the same thing, don’t knock the game too much. There’s a reason people who have no “life” play that game and it’s because it’s fun and when you get up high enough, you feel like you’ve invested so much into your character that you can’t just stop. That’s why I never deleted my characters, I just cancelled my subscription. I never deleted it from my hard-drive, I just copied it to my external hard-drive. It’s not something you give up lightly. If you looked at my character, there’d be over a year’s worth of days played. And that’s full 24 hour days. And that’s on the one character.

I quit last March because I felt like I just had to give it up. I hit a moment which kind of an epiphany and in a sudden impulse, I just stopped playing. I didn’t want to spend each night from 6 to 9, at least, playing that game. I didn’t want to sit there and do the same shit again and again. I wanted to do other shit. So, I gave it up and I am determined to stay off of it. And all mmo’s. I just don’t think I could start again. My brother has quit WoW on and off for a couple of years and he’s recently gone back to it. A couple of my friends have gone back to it and I look at them, their characters and their crappy skills and mounts and just go “Please. Save yourself the embarrassment, if you want to see a real player, check this,” when they start swinging their epeens around. You got a dragon? And a nice little title. So fucking what? What about The Immortal? The Black Proto-Drake? The Amani War-Bear? Hand of A’dal? Any of this shit ringing a bell? Yeah, I have those and more.

Still I wasn’t that good, better than some by far but not as good as plenty others.

What brought this all up was my friend linked me a vid of a private WoW server. A server which is free and here’s the killer, it’s aVanilla Server, fully scripted. It looks exactly like the old school game did, something I never had a chance to play much, being a BC Baby. It looks like a challenge, it looks like it’s fun and it looks like something I could play again. Something to silence the little voice in my head that perks up when I’m playing medic on TF2. It’s all, “Doesn’t this remind you of PvP healing? With spies for rogues? Snipers for fucking hunters? Soldiers for warriors? Look at you go, jumping back and forth like this is a BG, switching it up like this was your pally, HITTING THAT FUCKER WITH YOUR BONESAW LIKE IT WAS YOUR HAMMER OF FUCKING WRATH! OWNED BIIIIIITCH. Doesn’t it make you want to do it again?”.

And I kinda do. I just don’t want to have put all that effort back into it. I don’t want to have grind it all out, spend hours in failing PuG’s to get my gear and then spend hours in a puking raid which is set to fail or hours in arena with a bad setup being dominated by unbalanced classes.

So, what it comes down to is this idea of trying not to fall into the old trap, staying true to my little personal promise and balancing that with the idea of playing something nostalgic and fun with my friends, so we can scream over vent, “GET THAT ROGUE! OH SCHNAP WE FUCKED HIM UP!” and laugh maniacally.

It’s fucking tempting. The trick would be to not get caught in that hardcore mentality, something I have trouble with sometimes, because that’s where you get caught. You’re not playing because you want to, you’replaying because you have to.

We shall see what we shall see.

Tagged: WoWPrivate ServerTales from the old daysnever going backPvPPvEfunfriendsventgames

11th January 2012

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The Difference Between Old School and New School Games.

Essentially, it comes down to two simple factors: Realism and difficulty. Back in the day, well before I had ever played video games, there was no realism in games. Doom, Quake and Unreal Tournament were the first FPS games I can really think of and there was nothing realistic about them. You just paraded around with a large weapon firing from the hip and when your rounds connected something exploded. PvP was just hectic jumping and running while tapping that mouse button. Mouse turning, sprinting, crouching and just in general, bat shit crazy crap happening all around you. You put your hand in a pile of goo and find out that it was your best friend’s face. Etc etc.

These days, games pride themselves on realism to certain a extent. The games essentially use real weapons from today’s weapon cache, reward a more realistic style of game play and punish the older style of game play. In the campaigns of these games, they’re set in the future so no one complains about political correctness like over-sensitive fools but they have this element of realism to them. I’ll use Modern Warfare 3 as my example because I haven’t really played Battlefield 3 and MW3 probably is the best example of a new school shooting game as it is the biggest title in the FPS genre and probably the most played multi-player game, a fact which simply shits me, in its genre.

Anyway, in Modern Warfare 3, in fact in all the Modern Warfare titles, you play as a member of one of the world’s elite special forces, SAS, Delta Force, Rangers and so on. Now, initially you fight terrorists and then generic bad guys, African militia, Russians, miscellaneous Middle Eastern guys with AK-47’s and the general goal is, kill them all and maybe look around for laptops. That’s fine. That’s the trademark of the Call of Duty series. What changed in Modern Warfare was the level of supposed realism. Someone got nuked because some highly organised terrorist fragment of the Russian military got all hyper fascist on the world. That could happen. Modern Warfare 2, Russia declares war on the US and just has a massive invasion. They push straight for the capital and that makes sense. It’d be a symbolic and possible strategic victory. In MW3, Russia has taken parts of New York and uses chemical weapons to weaken defences across Europe in preparation for an invasion. That makes sense. The point is, while all of this requires imagination and you need to grant the game a certain amount of creative license to fully immerse yourself in the game, it deals with our world, the real world, it uses real military units, bases, weapons, vehicles and equipment. It is within the realm of possibility.

In the multi-player, the only thing which is overly realistic would be the weapons’ names. Those are all legitimate weapons in use by defence forces world wide. The level of technology with the UAV’s and Predator Missiles is around today so you can let that slide as well and I think your biggest dispute should be with the fact that they limit the firing types and don’t let you select the firing option yourself. I know games that do and you can change between auto, semi-auto and 3 round burst on assault rifles and that’s cool having a fire selector. Other than that, akimbo weapons. What the fuck? I seriously doubt that any military group uses akimbo weapons. The play style suits a more realistic style of fighting to an extent. Crouching, going prone, listening for footsteps and throwing a flash bang or concussion grenade before you enter a room is all pretty standard. There’s a lot more aiming down the sight, less jumping, spinning and being in spastic in general.

In old school games, that’s all you did. You were constantly moving, you could see rockets and you had to move. Aiming down the sight was for snipers only and accuracy was for chumps. Although, accuracy still seems to be for chumps in MW3. You had to think of line of sight rather than the darkest corner. You had to support pushes and run with a team most of the time. The simple fact is that team work is more apparent in TF2’s style of game play than MW3 in it’s entirety. You need to fulfil certain roles and know when to back your team. Camping is another ignored tactic because if you stand still too long in TF2 you run the risk of a Spy backstab.

So, in terms of PvP and multi-player, those are the real differences. It’s how “real” the game feels and that realism has an impact on how people react to the game. In MW3, if people are dominating and going huge on scores, people cry “HAX HACKERS” and then ask them to 1v1 them and act like little bitches. In TF2 if someone is going huge, you just target them down and you don’t cry like a bitch. In fact, the realism aspect of the game seems to push people to the game more seriously and whine when they’re getting their ass kicked. You don’t see that all that often in TF2, it’s just too hectic to complain most of the time.

Anyway, I like games and I wish my computer didn’t occasionally blue-screen while playing TF2 and I wish that fuckers on MW3 would stop hacking, chill back and start playing in a teamwork style. You get unspoken and instant co-operation in TF2, you play as medic and you can work with a person or even just a scout and demoman teaming up to quick cap a point. In MW3, team death match just means you only have to worry about 6 guys trying to kill you and not all of them. You don’t work as a team, you work for you.

Tagged: gamesTF2MW3PvPmulti-playershitteamworkrealism

2nd December 2011

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Australia: The Invincible Nation?

Have you ever seen the Day After Tomorrow? Hollywood’s version of the climate change apocalypse? I say climate change rather than global warming because that’s more accurate in my opinion but anyway the point is that the world is pretty much fucked over. Except Australia and maybe parts of South America. They don’t even mention us. We’re just some country that’s on the global map on that huge screen at the government bunker intel station. Independence Day, I think the worst we get is maybe the Opera House being obliterated, other than that… meh, nothing really happens. The Modern Warfare Series of Call Duty, it’s pretty much World War 3 annnnnnd Australia is uninvolved just sorta chillin’ back with New Zealand and most of Asia, like “Hey, you wanna bet on who wins?” “I got $5 on Russia,” “I’ll take that action,” “No cheating, China,” “Fuck, guess that means a world super power is sitting this one out,”.

And that’s Australia, the country that pretty much is the furthest from some of these wars we’ve had and yet we’re happy to get up in there. What the fuck did Vietnam have to do with us? I mean maybe that whole communist domino effect thing but we have bigger fish to fry. Afghanistan, totally unrelated. Iraq, totally unrelated. East Timor, maybe, I mean that’s close enough to maybe fuck with the region’s security. I like East Timor because we still have forces deployed there and no one really says,”HEY GET OUT OF EAST TIMOR!” and we’re pretty much doing the same thing, building infrastructure and helping a country stand on its own. People forget that we actually went and played an active role in East Timor’s independence.

Anyway, the point is in the entertainment industry, places like New Zealand and Australia are just forgotten, especially in action movies and games. I can’t really remember an Australian action film or a film set in Australia. Fuck, even Matthew Reilly, Australia action writer and the guy who could pretty much rebuild the action movie scene if they just turned the Scarecrow series into a movie. Seriously, Ice Station and Area 7 are really good. Lots of unrealistic bullshit but plausible enough that you’ll follow. But I’m off topic. The only game that comes to mind that’s even remotely set in Australia is Dead Island and that’s set in Banoi, a small pacific island who’s native people have ripped off most major indigenous beliefs, no one complains about that and the voice actors sound more like Americans playing at being Australian and failing. Hard. But they did name drop Sydney. So, look out. Darwin would be closer but no.

Look at Call of Duty: World at War. Pretty basic CoD game. WW2. Two characters. One in Europe, one in the Pacific. So, fighting Nazi’s and the Japanese. No mention of Australia at all. No mention of the Aussie commando units. No mention of our forces in PNG. No mention of us or the New Zealanders being present at all in WW2. Mind you they missed the entire African Campaign against Rommel, which is like the birth of the British SAS. They forgot abotu Tobruk where the 8th battalion I think, held the city for weeks with little to no support. They were mainly fresh troops too, not veterans and they held it.

Anyway, it’s just like Australia and New Zealand won’t have to fucking worry about the apocalypse, it’ll just miss us. Europe, most of Asia, North and South America will be totalled and then it’s just, I suppose what you would classify as Oceania and Antarctica left standing. We’ll be fine. Just us, the Kiwi’s and the fucking penguins. Maybe some researchers from the research stations and some Greenpeace nuts. Oh and maybe some Japanese whalers. Depends on the time of year. Of course they’d all be fucked but hey, the whales and penguins will be happy.

I’d just like to see a movie director or a games developer pay attention to us enough to give us a starring role in a movie or game. We could be an awesome setting, we’ve been involved in wars, we have elite special forces, talk to our SASR, Commandos and Incident Response Teams and I think Perth could be a cool setting for a zombie based RPG. It’d be like Fallout and considering once you get past maybe Leederville, Perth already looks like a fucking bomb hit it and most of the industrial areas are pretty dodgy, it wouldn’t be hard.

I know more about American geography than some Americans. I know more about their history than some of Americans. I would like to see those damned American developers base something on us. I’ll even settle for those fucking atrocious mockeries of our accents and you fucking up our cities if you did that. Hell, I’ll let you forget about Tasmania.

Most Australians do already anyway. Why break a fucking streak?

Tagged: AustraliaapocalypsemoviesgamesCoDwar

26th November 2011

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GAMES! MOTHER FUCKER! DO YOU PLAY THEM?

So, I started this year with like no cash and not a lot of good games to choose from. Then I suppose August started the game releases and I had actually had money. Fuck yeah. Bought myself Warhammer 40K: Space Marine, which is an excellent game, I’ve had a lot of fun and finally maxed levelled it. Then Skyrim came out and sweet jibbly jiblets, that’s good, I like to sneak up and slash some unsuspecting fuck’s throat with my daggers while looking like a badass ninja. Anyway, Skyrim is one of those games I like to space out and play in bits, I want to savour it, so I take breaks and play something else or read. And in this thinking I bought Cod:MW3 and I don’t know, I’m kinda neutral about it.

The campaign is actually fairly decent. For the first 15% or so then, you’re trying to save a fucking President which just fucking ruins that. But then later on it’s redeemed by the, hang on, drum roll please, suspense thriller music…. THE S-A- FUCKING-S. The Special Air Services regiment. Britain’s top counter-terrorist/anybody they don’t like elite special unit. They are killers, pure and simple, if it’s not a live fire training then it’s not training to them. They have awesome gas masks, it’s like their thing and MP5’s, which they have adopted. That, for me, was just awesome. Was very fangasmic. Then they killed off a character and that was intense.

So, after that, I decided to try and play the multiplayer. And it’s so-so. No where near as good as Space Marine’s and it’s very bullshit at times. You just get wasted but I have been getting better and after about four games I finally managed to break even in a game, so I’m trying to stabilise my KDR.

Anyway, the Call of Duty game is ok. I like the campaigns and the multiplayer hasn’t completely offended me buuuut I don’t know, I’m not exactly sold on it. It’s justified me buying it but other than that, it hasn’t wowed me. Space Marine did after about four seconds of brutal, bloody slaughter and a nice multiplayer and Skyrim did when I fought a fucking dragon. However, I like the pace of MW3, it’s a lot faster than Skyrim which is understandable and I like firearms and military stuff in general, it interests me and we had gun laws like the US, I’d probably buy a handgun and do target shooting and dissemble, clean and reassemble my weapon for recreation. Anyway, the pace is good and the game play was about as dry as I expected. It’s just like Modern Warfare 1 pretty much.

So, I’d say that it’s earned about 7 on the Blurr’s PLAY THIS FUCKING GAME rating. Which is decent. It beats SWOTR’s -7 and I haven’t even looked at it yet but all reports say it’s not good.

Anyway 5 things I liked about the campaign so far.
1. The SAS
2. The continuation of the story line
3. The way the designer’s didn’t bitch out about killing civilians. There’s an excellent cut-scene in there.
4. The way they sort of played out the ultimate, non-nuclear weapons, WW3. It really does sort of feel like modern warfare. Fast paced, urban fighting in small units.
5. The range of weapons. These are all current weapons in use which is a nice realism aspect

In multiplayer:
1. I can kill things
2. Not everyone is a raging cunt
3. You can actually improve
4. THe way they fixed fucking last stand, even though I still got killed by a last standing dickwad which made me mad. Cock sucker.
5. The maps I have played so far have been pretty good. That’s like the major let down of Space Marine’s multiplayer, the fact there’s like 4 maps, that and 2 pvp game types.

So, while I take a small break from playing Skyrim because I kind of want something faster at the moment, it’s a good filler. And I can see it being a good rotation game.

Tagged: MW3CoDSkyrimGamesSpace MarineKILLING