I figured Facebook didn't need these posts which span hundreds of words clogging up the feed.
So, to that end, I created this happy little tumblr.
If you know who I am, good for you. If you know stuff about me, good for you. If you want to talk, discuss, argue or converse then the appropriate actions,
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Body Image: Stop Looking Good, Girls Are Killing Themselves!
That’s the kind of bloody thing I think of when I get someone ranting on about ‘body image’ or ‘body awareness’ issues. It’s something I listen to and just think, ‘What the fuck is your point?’
Here’s what the good ol’ Australian government has to say on the issue:
‘Body image is an issue of concern to young people. Research tells us that negative body image can affect self-esteem and general well-being, inhibit participation in social activities and lead to serious health issues such as depression and social isolation.’
Riiiiiight….
And here’s a nice simple definition from the ever popular wikipedia:
‘Body image refers to a person’s feelings of the aesthetics and sexual attractiveness of his or her own body.’
Okay. so I can gather that body image issues are when someone thinks that they’re ugly or unattractive and this seems most likely to develop in teens. Alrighty, that I can understand.
The problem I have with body image issue is the way people go about trying to solve them. I see pretty girls complain all the bloody time about how they aren’t pretty people and how no loves them. Meanwhile, their boyfriend/potentially friend-zoned male buddies are feeding them compliments and their female friend are using self-deprecating compliments. It ends up being this mushy wasteland of self-pity and obviously poor come one attempts. Freaking shocking.
I see an average guy who is worried he isn’t attractive or just feels like he could improve. He hits the gym. He fixes his diet. He cuts down on drinking. And that’s my brother and, as far as I know, he wasn’t even concerned with his body image. He just wanted to go to the gym.
So, the body image issue just seems kinda of pointless to focus on. It’s like cyber-bullying; anyone who actually freaks out over the issue has forgotten that they can take control.
And, let’s be honest here, what could you do to fix body image?
Promote ‘real models’?
Run an extensive program like the government seems to be doing, focusing on discussing issues?
Make everyone look exactly the fucking same?
All of those solution do not work. Even if everyone looked the same, some people would just freak about something else. The same way some people would freak out and be all racist even if everyone was nigh on identical.
SO, please, just fuck up about body image.
I seriously don’t care about girls who are pretty, get told constantly that they’re pretty and yet post about how ugly they are. THAT SHOULDN’T BE A FUCKING HOLE FOR TAX PAYER MONEY.
And please, if you are one of those fucking idiots who says, ‘I’m not pretty,’ despite many people saying that you are or have people asking you out just stop. Even in the worst case scenario that you are in fact an ugly wench who belongs on exhibit then you are still a person worthy of pride. Develop a better method for judging or comparing yourself.
It’s like that fucking annoying quote, ‘if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is an idiot’. DON’T BE A CLIMBING FISH. BE SOMETHING DECENT.
And please stop posting about how ugly you are. It just makes me want to post a comment which says, ‘OH WOW. I’m glad you realised that you’re hideous, I’ve been meaning to tell you but I thought it’d be awkward. Anyway, have fun with your realisation that you’re a terrible ogre monstrosity,’. If you were truly ugly and if you thought you were truly ugly, THEN YOU WOULDN’T DRAW ATTENTION TO IT.
Long story short: Body Image shouldn’t be an issue. Bitches who whine about how they look are in fact bitches. Fuck up already.
Facebook Failures
I like to think of this as a proper blog sometimes, maybe even my own talk-back radio station or magazine with different articles, in my more fanciful and imaginative moments. I don’t see bored ass, teenagers in their angst, bad moods or notions of being misunderstood sullenly scrolling through their dash and I don’t see a group of intelligent but a little bit socially awkward people that like the almost voyueristic way you can look at people’s private feelings, thoughts, opinions and emotions that they have splattered all over tumblr and the internet reading little pockets of mildly interesting material. In my more imaginative, fanciful and rather arrogant moments, I see an audience watching, reading and listening with rapt attention and then putting it down and thinking. Anyway, the purpose of that long ass paragraph was this: I have segments, recurring articles and regular guests and I’m thinking this one might be another.
I have done a few “Sweet Jibbly Jiblets” rants and probably six or so “Blurr’s Most Hated Radio Song” but this time I’m introducing, “Facebook Failures”, a compilation of the three most annoying, thought provoking or interesting pieces I’ve seen on facebook every so often. I figure I already complain about this enough as it is that it might as well go into its own little category.
1. The funniest status.
This one pretty much stated two of the most basic things I spot in the less rational and more, let’s just say, volatile group of facebook people. Essentially, it stated both that it was tired of helping people and then never getting any help when they need it and that they were tired of living in this particular suburb.
Come on now. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, if you expect a good deed to not just be its own reward but to also come with one “HEY! I HELP YOUR ARSE OUT NOW HELP ME/BE NICE TO ME” card, then you’re an idiot. People do nice things, you do nice things, do not expect them to look even in your eyes because when you put ‘em on the scales, they might look you’re owed something but to others it might look like you owe them. Just shut up and roll with it. That’s one thing I’ve learned, do not ever think you deserve something because chances are you’ve forgotten when someone helped you out.
The next part is the wanting to leave the surburb/city/country/continent. Why bother? An asshole gets on a plane in Perth, it’s the same asshole who gets off in Adelaide. You’re comfy here, parents looking after everything and you don’t have to worry about rent/board/bills/food/water/everything else. You just worry about your casual/part time job and whatever education your chasing up. Saying you want to leave is a poor and rather desperate excuse for attention. If you really did have all these forces making you want to go, you’d be gone. You’d be an independent person already and you’d just go, you’d find a fucking way.
Now, what actually makes this hilarious is two things. The first being the fact so many people rush to help out. “Oh babe, inbox me if you need, love youuuu,” was popular. The second was the fact that someone had called this person out on something and the reaction was “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. SHUT UP. I HATE YOU,” or words to that effect. Which just makes me think that, yes, it was about them and man, that’s some funny shit.
2. The standard, almost intellectual status which reflects a good idea but in a stupid manner.
This one was actually rather good but, for me, it was just presented wrongly. It had to do with Australia’s constitution not actually stating any real rights. I mean the only definite rights you get as an Aussie are, the right to vote and the right to freedom of religion. That’s it. After that, we enter the realm of implied rights and freedoms. Now, this one handle the idea that as Australians, the constitution doesn’t actually give us the freedom of speech and apparently this person was arguing with an idiot. Yeah. There are much better and much more direct ways to win that argument. But nice thought, I appreciated that much but not so much presentation.
There’s a reason I want a republic, perhaps based off of an European model but definitely with a set Bill of Rights or Document of Freedoms, or whatever. A bit of paper which says, “All citizens will have these rights and they cannot be breached,”. And that status said it all. We need it because we don’t have it and it’d just be easier than teaching people all about our current constitution.
3. The status which wants to be intelligent but just can’t be.
Now, number two puts this one in the shade. The second one was actually not bad and came from a source which, on a whole if you ignore lots of things, isn’t too bad and you can do a lot worse. This one came from someone who is, rather more simple than that.
The idea was a status which said, “Violence doesn’t solve everything, it’s much more logical and reasonable to talk a problem out,”
The immediate response on all the comments? Yes, yes it does.
I laughed. I’m not a huge believer in violence over stupid matters. There’s just too much to lose. Punch a guy in an argument and be locked up or knocked out. Talk it out, maybe argue with the fool and simply reap the rewards of running rings around him and even getting some of his friends on board with your ideas. However, I do think sometimes violence is the last resort and much like that fire axe in the case with the glass which says “Break glass in case of emergency,”, sometimes the glass needs to be broken.
But wow.
“Violence wrks uu jst gotta be clevar about how u do it,”
That statement came up. And wow.
That’s why I keep the number of friends on facebook around. I keep ‘em around so I can track what’s going on in their little worlds, to see how these people, the majority of people, think.
So, whether you’re “smashin’ cunts”, “TIRED OF EVERYTHING” or “OMG! You just don’t get it,” I’ll read it and think on it.
Every day, my news feed will fill up with more Facebook Failures
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Blurr’s Most Hated Radio Song
I haven’t done one of these in a while simply because I’ve covered pretty much song in one simple post. They suck because they’re unoriginal, not confronting, extremely untalented and essentially consist of one of two topics; love and fun.
That said it is still fun to trash talk these songs but I just can’t be bothered looking for these songs myself.
Ok, now I know I have a reader base of essentially five people but I’m asking for suggestions.
What song should I listen to, make a small review of and then just insult for four paragraphs?
Meme Licenses.
I think we should be having fucking meme licenses and put the controls on them tighter than the Australian Firearm laws. The sheer volume of memes spouted both correctly and incorrectly just makes me want to find and dismantle terrorist cells, just so there would be more research into meme addiction, meme abuse and meme related death. I’m not just talking about people dying because their friends finally snapped and killed the fuckhead but dying from the sheer repetitive and sponge like nature these fuckheads have. People forget where the majority of memes are developed, they fucking forget how to pronounce the damn word and then they use them at stupid and inappropriate times.
Meme: 1. An element of culture or behaviour that may be passed from one individual to another by non-genetic means. For example imitation.
2. An image, video, etc that is passed over the internet from one user to another.
In terms of what I’m talking about, the definition is a combination of the two, it’s internet culture, language and behaviours that are being passed along the internet via texts. A good example of the meme would Forever Alone, troll face and Rage Comics. These are parts of the internet culture that has developed in more recent times. The Rick Roll was unheard of until the 2000’s and now it’s pretty much known internet wide. These images, language and cultural behaviours are all well and good but people are just too retarded to use them.
Consider your group of friends. There is bound to be one who is using memes at dumb times or just constantly because they ran out of real content of their own years ago and now are forced to leach off of the internet. I have friends who talk in pretty much nothing but memes. They claim to “be trollin’” and ask me “U mad bro?”. They talk about food and before you can get anything of substance it’s “OM NOM NOM NOM NOM”. Have they seen the pic of the tortoise munching down on some cheese with that caption? No. And yet here we are. They got that meme through imitation alone.
Now, I have nothing against memes. What I take issue with is dickheads who A) Use them all the fucking time and B) Do not realise where these memes come from. They come from 4chan. Yep, that place that Fox news hates, the place where “Anonymous” hangs out, it’s full of disgusting pigs and hackers. Yep, suuuuuuuure. It’s also at the heart of meme development. All pictures on tumblr pretty much originate from 4chan. Tumblr’s just 4chan lite when it comes to pictures, videos and the like. Want to know who made Rebbeca Black as famous as she is? 4chan. Chuck Testa? 4chan. Demotivationals? 4chan.
So, when someone is spouting memes, can’t pronounce the word correctly, (It IS NOT “me-me”, it is ONE WORD and it rhymes with beam,) fucking christ on a totem pole, I just feel the veins in my neck and forehead start popping. I mean, if you had least lurked on 4chan a little and understood where the fuck the most recent internet culture comes from I could cut a little more slack. The same thing with not just memeic pictures but also acronyms. MFW, DNW, TL;DR are all pretty much 4chan’s offspring. Now, MFW, “My Face When…” is particularly annoying to encounter because usually there’s a thread, someone gives a topic and you post a picture which shows your response. For example, “YFW, your face when, that guy pepper sprayed those peaceful protestors,” you’d then post a picture to humorously display what your reaction would be, like so:
That says my reaction would be, “I don’t give a fuck,” and then someone continues with the next one like so:
Annnnd eventually there’s a large thread of reactions.
If you use MFW and you can’t show what your face would be… then you’re retarded. Like say in a facebook convo. That’s just dumb.
This is why I want meme licenses. You should have to pass a test, do 6 months of supervised meme usage and then pass a “Meme Hazard Test” where you are to use memes in the appropriate times and contexts. After that you get your Meme Provisional license. No memes between 12am and 5am unless you’re like an internet moderator. Then you go to your full license and there’s meme speeding laws, “DO you have any idea how memes you were saying just then?” “No, officer, I swear I was under ten…” “I have you clocked at 50 memes a second. IN A SCHOOL ZONE,”. License can be revoked, fines and even jail times.
Bring on the Department of Internet Meme Use. I’d fucking welcome it.
