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If you’re anything like me then there are people that you kind of don’t want to talk to at all. It’s not that you don’t like them and it’s not that you don’t have anything to say but the more fact that anything do say can and will be taken as insult, put-down or personal attack.
Or at least it feels that way.
I suffer from this sort of syndrome where what I say makes perfect sense, is not attacking at all and just in general pretty plain. And yet through some error in delivery or when other people hear it, what I’ve said becomes the equivalent of ‘FUCK YOU. YOU ARE FOREVER USELESS AND UNATTRACTIVE,’. Even when I’ve said something as mundane as ’ Hello! You look nice today!’.
Now, that doesn’t really bother me if people I don’t see or talk to often are affected by this problem. I don’t really care if the stranger at the party thinks I’m dick because ultimately their opinion is worthless to me. What really bothers me is when this trait of unintentional implied attacks is applied to my friends or people I actually have to associate with on a regular basis.
At that point, it becomes a major issue.
It can start to break down group dynamics and bring out retaliations that seems totally uncalled for from my perspective. So, my issue is trying to decide where the problem is influenced by me ends and where the problem is influenced by others begins.
I mean, is it just the way I operate or say things? Or is it because people are listening for insults and are making their own version of what I’ve said through misinterpretation.
And what I come back to is a 50/50 split. It can’t solely be attributed to everyone else because it affects multiple people and I’m the only shared factor. But it can’t just be me either because it only affects certain people.
So, the next problem is identifying which people I need to watch my mouth around and then the problem after that is deciding at point I should no longer be held accountable. I say that because trying to consciously pick every fucking word you say is exhausting and terribly difficult because sometimes even carefully thought-out remarks backfire.
That means at some point, it shouldn’t just be my responsibility to watch what I say but also the other person’s responsibility to not assume that everything is a go at them.
That said, like most things in the world, it’s a two-way street and you can never really know what other people are thinking or going to do therefore the only person you can rely on to act a particular way is you.
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I always like stumbling across those threads which start off with, ‘In this thread, write a letter to someone who will never read it,’ because they are just so fascinating. I don’t know whether it’s human nature or I’m just a nosy bastard but reading someone’s letters is just compelling. You read through and you get a little glimpse at someone else’s problems and life.
What’s not to like?
You cruise through and you see some stuff that makes you laugh, see some stuff that strikes a cord with you and see some stuff that makes you think a little. There’s a lot of tales of friendzoned people, some people that just want to move on with their lives, some that want someone they care about to start caring for themselves and some that just want someone to read their final message to the world.
And it’s great for me. I know that sounds strange but some of them give you this sadistic satisfaction with your own life because when you compare theirs to yours, yours fucking rules. There are others which you can empathise with or sympathise with and that’s decent too. You know you’re not alone with that thought.
What I especially like is how when you see the initials people use to sign their letters, you instantly try to connect it to your own life. See one which is addressed to J and is from a L and start connecting dots which aren’t there. It’s that little seed of paranoia that is fun to see.
Other than that, what gets me with these things is both the attraction people have to posting in these threads or lurking in them. Humanity is quite happy to share its deepest thoughts with the world anonymously but is petrified of sharing it to a few of their closest friends as themselves.
That gets me every time. I can understand it. It’s good to vent stuff and doing it online and anonymously means it’s fairly safe while still being out there. Still, if it isn’t that big of a deal, why don’t try saying it aloud. Why don’t you try owning it?
In the end, I suppose these letters serve the purpose of letting people see their private thoughts out there in a public forum while still retaining the safety of anonymity. Which is to say, they get it out without owning it.
Would you write a letter to someone who will never read it?
Would you want to read one of those letters that’s addressed to you?
You’re sitting around talking to friends and then you say something you thought was harmless. Nothing terrible just something which marginally insults someone indirectly. It’s all good.
Four seconds later, you’ve got frosty silence from one person and they’re now pissed at you for something that you never actually directed as an insult. Well, what can you do?
If you’re dealing with good friends then you can just keep going on with the insult. Just roll it to ‘em until everyone laughs and they get the idea that it was unintentional and meant as a joke. But that only really works if you’re a guy communicating with other guys.
What if you’ve accidentally pissed off a chick?
Well, you’re boned. There is no way out. It’s like trying to dig your way out of a hole. You can either keep digging deeper and find yourself further from the surface or you can try to dig up. Digging up is essentially just throwing your shovel in the air.
This isn’t meant to be a stab at girls but just a bit of general observation. Maybe it’s just me as I seem to do this from time to time and I can only really get the idea that I’m either sorry or that it wasn’t meant that way at all across to other guys. But it might not be just me as well. I’ve seen girls who are great friends just disintegrate over what seems like a minor issue to me.
Anyway, back on topic, you can try to apologise, try to explain or you can try a combination of the two. It’ll cut zero ice in any scenario but you always feel obligated to try.
Apologising usually yields the result of, ‘You’re not sorry you said it. You’re only that I reacted like this,’ and to that I never have an answer. Yes, I am sorry I said it but only because of your reaction. Why else would I be sorry? That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m apologising because I feel bad that you feel bad about something I said. Last time I checked, you apologise to help make amends. What the fuck am I supposed to do in that case?
The next thing is to just dig yourself deeper and say, ‘I didn’t mean it like that’/’I didn’t mean you,’ and that gives the result of, ‘YES, YOU OBVIOUSLY DID,’. Again, that makes no sense to me. If I was going for that effect, I would have said it outright and I wouldn’t have tried to apologise. In fact, I would have rained more down.
The very worse thing you can do is also possible the very best thing you can do. It depends on how pissed they are. You can just tell them to stop overreacting, tell them that, ‘Hey, it wasn’t meant like that. Harden up you big sook,’ and then you have to run for cover. But if you say it right, they will calm down.
The problem I have with this is that it only seems to be a one way street for these people. If you say something unintentionally that pisses them off, then you meant to say it, you’re not sorry and no, they don’t care what you say.
However, if you take offence then you’re supposedly overreacting and should just accept their apology.
Sometimes, people say stuff which hurts my feelings, pisses me off or is just a down right affront to me. I don’t do anything if they’re my friends. I’ll defend my actions if that’s what’s being called out, I’ll make light of the situation and I’ll laugh it off but I won’t flip out and just turn the cold shoulder to these people.
So, that’s the wonderful word trap. There’s bait there and you take it. WHAM! You’re snared in the shining wire and nothing you can do will get you out.
My advice is to wait it out and try to not behave like these people do. It just creates unnecessary drama.
And if you’re someone prone to overreacting then simply make a conscious effort to not overreact and to calmly consider the situation. Or at the very least make sure that you grant the same common courtesy if someone flips out on you.
Make it fair and don’t be silly about things. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a situation where someone is extremely and rightly angry with you and you’ll find that apologies, explanations and comments will get you nothing in response.
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That’s probably the only way I can think of my lack of tumblr posts. I just stopped using this site a while ago because I felt anything and everything I discuss on this blog like thing is ultimately a futile gesture. What do I hope to change? What can I hope to do with it?
Answer is nothing. However, what I did end up doing is what a fair few people wind up doing: impressing themselves with their own self-importance. I’d see something and take a superior glance at the issue and think, ‘Yes. I can write a post on that. I can attack the issue! I can make a witty statement,’ and what I actually did was just rant about it on the internet.
Not very exciting stuff.
Despite the fact that some people enjoyed it, it just became more and more about pissing off other people and seeing how much I could confront them with. The problem was I would write a post on a topic and get the exact opposite reaction I had hoped for. I’d write about feminism and look at the gender equality issue only to encounter the crap I had just written. I’d discuss theism and suffer the same sort of attitudes I had just highlighted. I’d yell about One Direction and get told by some naive teen girl that I, ‘… just don’t understand what the boys mean to us…’.
At that point they had one song and were as generic as a Steven Segal film.
It reached a point where I spotted an anti-atheism lecture at my uni and I just threw my arms up in the air and said, ‘Fuck it. They can do what they want. Doesn’t matter what I do anyway,’. I wrote about and people gave me the same basic crap.
I was getting the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted people to discuss the ideas I had written about and I wanted them to assess what it was they believed. Whether that was religion, feminism or a strange taste in music, I just wanted them to think.
And I failed horribly at it.
Turns out I changed more people’s minds about the myths surrounding Marilyn Monroe in five minutes on facebook than I had changed people’s minds on tumblr total. I sat down, ranted to a friend, we did some research, I put a status which called people out, they commented back and then my friend and I just backed each other’s replies and gave the real information. At the end of the post/thread’s active time, we had swayed about five people to at least pretend they had re-thought that belief.
I look at tumblr as place where I fed my ego and propped up my self-importance. Eventually, you realise that it’s worthless for the purpose of changing people’s minds and that the only real purpose for it is mindless entertainment.
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Man, this is something I have said for a long time. Fuck celebrities. Do not pay them any fucking. A celebrity says something controversial? Whoop dee doo. They’re actors, singers, artists or other miscellaneous public figures. They aren’t always going to be sane. If you asked me, I’d say they’d never be sane. Look at Tom Cruise. JUST LOOK AT HIM. Scientology is his religion of choice. That’s stupid. However, if you compare the actual beliefs, it’s only a little crazier than mainstream religions. But the worst thing is when people focus so much attention on these ass holes that they lose sight of other things. Important things.
Whitney Houston died recently. Now, I’ve seen a number of people of my facebook make “RIP” comments and shit. Why? Why fucking bother? First off, who listens to Whitney Houston? Who? Some people. There’s probably a couple of really sort of recognised songs out there but seriously who the fuck cares? Next, why fucking bother? Is her family going to read that? Nope. Fuck no. Not happening? And rest in peace? What the fuck does that mean?
However, that’s just a fucking small time problem. Let’s look at living celebrities who get the cult worship. Beiber. Lordy lou, that’s disturbing. Clooney. Pitt. These guys who are hounded by the papparazzi, hounded by fucked up small time journalists. AND THOSE SHITTY STORIES SELL. PEOPLE BUY THEM. PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHY JENNIFER ANISTON IS LOOKING FATTER. PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW THIS. People follow these stories and tales more rigorously then they follow the fucking commandments they supposedly believe in.
Fuck. It’s one of those human issues I never understood. Why even bother following the tales of these people? Why fucking bother at all? They’ll be replaced in due time. Actors and singers especially are replaceable. And out of those, actors are probably the fucking most annoying. Tv actors especially because they just turn up and hit their lines. What makes them famous is the story line. The writers do the work to make the show. A show with shitty actors can be a great show because of the writers. Look at every major anime series ever. All of them, especially in the english dubs and even in the subbed japanese versions have shitty or unintelligible voice acting. There’s no real skill in it besides the fact they don’t just sound like they’re jsut reading it. I mean they’re acting still but it’s just terrible in many cases. It’s the mother fucking story line that’s the catch.
Directors, story writers, screen writers, authors. These are the people who should be taking some fucking fame for stuff. The actors? They’re just cover faces. Poster people. Walking advertisements. Even when they do a good job, it still relied on the director for picking them and the writers for giving them a fucking script.
Authors are probably the best celebrity version. They’re not recognised all the time. I mean, they go to book signing and shit and they’ll be picked out by some folk but at the end of the day, it’s only a handful that are going to spot them. And the best part? The book will far out last them. Shakespeare has been dead for ages and he’s still rocking. D’Caprio? Fucking small cheese man. He may have started on some rip of a Shakespeare story but he went out of style until Titanic and then went out of style and then came back with Inception. And those movies and those stories will outlast his ass.
So, don’t worship celebrities. They are not demigods. They are not better than you. Far from it. They may have achieved success in their field and they earned that. But they already get a hefty fucking salary for that. Don’t add your worship and devotion to the list. I mean scientists are already under paid by comparison and add, arguably, a lot more to the world.
They are people. And all people are pathetic idiots.
I like to think of this as a proper blog sometimes, maybe even my own talk-back radio station or magazine with different articles, in my more fanciful and imaginative moments. I don’t see bored ass, teenagers in their angst, bad moods or notions of being misunderstood sullenly scrolling through their dash and I don’t see a group of intelligent but a little bit socially awkward people that like the almost voyueristic way you can look at people’s private feelings, thoughts, opinions and emotions that they have splattered all over tumblr and the internet reading little pockets of mildly interesting material. In my more imaginative, fanciful and rather arrogant moments, I see an audience watching, reading and listening with rapt attention and then putting it down and thinking. Anyway, the purpose of that long ass paragraph was this: I have segments, recurring articles and regular guests and I’m thinking this one might be another.
I have done a few “Sweet Jibbly Jiblets” rants and probably six or so “Blurr’s Most Hated Radio Song” but this time I’m introducing, “Facebook Failures”, a compilation of the three most annoying, thought provoking or interesting pieces I’ve seen on facebook every so often. I figure I already complain about this enough as it is that it might as well go into its own little category.
1. The funniest status.
This one pretty much stated two of the most basic things I spot in the less rational and more, let’s just say, volatile group of facebook people. Essentially, it stated both that it was tired of helping people and then never getting any help when they need it and that they were tired of living in this particular suburb.
Come on now. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, if you expect a good deed to not just be its own reward but to also come with one “HEY! I HELP YOUR ARSE OUT NOW HELP ME/BE NICE TO ME” card, then you’re an idiot. People do nice things, you do nice things, do not expect them to look even in your eyes because when you put ‘em on the scales, they might look you’re owed something but to others it might look like you owe them. Just shut up and roll with it. That’s one thing I’ve learned, do not ever think you deserve something because chances are you’ve forgotten when someone helped you out.
The next part is the wanting to leave the surburb/city/country/continent. Why bother? An asshole gets on a plane in Perth, it’s the same asshole who gets off in Adelaide. You’re comfy here, parents looking after everything and you don’t have to worry about rent/board/bills/food/water/everything else. You just worry about your casual/part time job and whatever education your chasing up. Saying you want to leave is a poor and rather desperate excuse for attention. If you really did have all these forces making you want to go, you’d be gone. You’d be an independent person already and you’d just go, you’d find a fucking way.
Now, what actually makes this hilarious is two things. The first being the fact so many people rush to help out. “Oh babe, inbox me if you need, love youuuu,” was popular. The second was the fact that someone had called this person out on something and the reaction was “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. SHUT UP. I HATE YOU,” or words to that effect. Which just makes me think that, yes, it was about them and man, that’s some funny shit.
2. The standard, almost intellectual status which reflects a good idea but in a stupid manner.
This one was actually rather good but, for me, it was just presented wrongly. It had to do with Australia’s constitution not actually stating any real rights. I mean the only definite rights you get as an Aussie are, the right to vote and the right to freedom of religion. That’s it. After that, we enter the realm of implied rights and freedoms. Now, this one handle the idea that as Australians, the constitution doesn’t actually give us the freedom of speech and apparently this person was arguing with an idiot. Yeah. There are much better and much more direct ways to win that argument. But nice thought, I appreciated that much but not so much presentation.
There’s a reason I want a republic, perhaps based off of an European model but definitely with a set Bill of Rights or Document of Freedoms, or whatever. A bit of paper which says, “All citizens will have these rights and they cannot be breached,”. And that status said it all. We need it because we don’t have it and it’d just be easier than teaching people all about our current constitution.
3. The status which wants to be intelligent but just can’t be.
Now, number two puts this one in the shade. The second one was actually not bad and came from a source which, on a whole if you ignore lots of things, isn’t too bad and you can do a lot worse. This one came from someone who is, rather more simple than that.
The idea was a status which said, “Violence doesn’t solve everything, it’s much more logical and reasonable to talk a problem out,”
The immediate response on all the comments? Yes, yes it does.
I laughed. I’m not a huge believer in violence over stupid matters. There’s just too much to lose. Punch a guy in an argument and be locked up or knocked out. Talk it out, maybe argue with the fool and simply reap the rewards of running rings around him and even getting some of his friends on board with your ideas. However, I do think sometimes violence is the last resort and much like that fire axe in the case with the glass which says “Break glass in case of emergency,”, sometimes the glass needs to be broken.
“Violence wrks uu jst gotta be clevar about how u do it,”
That statement came up. And wow.
That’s why I keep the number of friends on facebook around. I keep ‘em around so I can track what’s going on in their little worlds, to see how these people, the majority of people, think.
So, whether you’re “smashin’ cunts”, “TIRED OF EVERYTHING” or “OMG! You just don’t get it,” I’ll read it and think on it.
Every day, my news feed will fill up with more Facebook Failures
There’s a saying in marathons of all varieties. It’s “hitting the wall,” and it effectively means just fizzling out and running out of steam. You keep going but you’re travelling at such a small pace it’s hardly worth it. Say you’re trying to write an essay or a story of something and you’re aiming for 500 words, something easy to do in a day. You get to about 350 and just run out of ideas, you got nothing left, you’re just adding words to keep numbers. Ok, maybe not 500 but maybe 5000. I mean in 500 you can steam-roll through that but 5000 is tough to do even when you’re flying on inspiration. You hit 3500 and just stare at it.
I’ve hit that wall a couple of times and it sucks. I hit the wall of thinking. It just becomes an issue of motivation. Why am I writing? Why am I thinking? It’s not going to matter. Why am I arguing with theists, idiots and bigots? I can’t beat them all. And even if I can counter every argument ever issued, reason will just be ignored and these fucks will just proclaim a victory, oblivious to how it all works.
It’s destroying to think like that. Self fucking destructive.
I often pride myself on my ability to keep going with things longer than others. If I’m exercising or doing pretty much anything which has an end goal, I’m aiming to push the boundary a little further each time. Eventually, you just go, “Why fucking bother?”
In a world where it’s a fucking central tenet of our social system to believe in something which cannot be proved one way or another and where people are judged upon the words of a book which thousands of years old, written by numerous people, re-written again and translated poorly again and again, why fucking bother?
In a world where the majority of people pretty much go OUT OF THEIR WAY to remain ignorant, to ignore facts and to not understand the political system that they are a part of, why bother?
When you’re living in a world where every time you wake up and you realise that even if you had the power to change everything, you still couldn’t really do it because after you left, people would just fuck it up. Why bother?
The answer I always come back to is this: Do it because you want to. Do it because if you don’t, who will?
Then I realise that I’m not actually achieving anything, that in effect, it’s all pointless.
That’s my wall.
Still, I’ll yell about things, I’ll complain ont he internet, I’ll argue with anyone who seems to warrant it. If it looks like someone is ladling out bullshit and other people are lapping it up like it’s fucking hot fudge, I’ll call them out. If it seems like it’s warranted, I’ll call ‘em out.
Even though I’m usually a pretty pessimistic person at the heart of things I’m an optimist. I’m still hoping for that big pay off where my opinions and thoughts can actually make a fucking difference.
I think I’ll be hoping for a long time.
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Holy fucking tuna fish sandwich. Rightio, people have once again set a new bar in irritating me.
1. People that make sudden impulse purchases.
I’ve done this but not with anything over $50 and usually I’ve thought about buying a product before but only snapped it up when it was dramatically cheaper. Damn those Steam sales. But people that buy things, especially clothing or aesthetic pieces, a on flimsy whim tend to irritate me. You aren’t going to get your money’s worth, why bother buying it if you are going to use it once? At least when I buy a game I get 5+ hours game play in the first two weeks of purchase, which, when compared to say seeing a movie, is pretty decent, in addition to that I also can go back and revisit a game at any time. Same with books and dvds. If I’m buying something, I’m going for value.
2. People that are apparently experts on everything and argue stupidly to try and prove it.
I probably fall into this category but damn man, when I see people bring up the “Iraq was for oil!” campaign I get dubious. I don’t really follow that oil for blood idea, I think it was more than likely a political thing, not oil based, but to try for a victory to impress voters. Seeing how the wars caused majors disruptions to the oil production in those countries, raised oil prices significantly and thrust the spotlight on oil companies, it just doesn’t seem to follow. But there’s always the possibility.
The next big thing everyone is a fucking expert on is climate change. People are making the big distinction between climate change and global warming, something I follow along with because the term global warming seems too limited and climate change better fits the actual happenings. However, they split them up into separate issues and say “Global warming is made by humanity! Climate Change is a natural phenomena!” which is kinda stupid. Global warming is one of the factors of climate change, I tend to think climate change is a natural process, look at ice ages and the fact that we’re actually still coming out of an ice age. However, we can’t deny that humanity has made an impact on this natural process and sped it up, primarily due to lack of environmental care and a larger population. Again, I’m no expert and if they are truly two separate issues then okie doke buuuut I’d want to see some proof first.
3. People that just mindlessly agree with these self appointed experts during an argument.
A person is arguing and someone else throws their hat in. The “expert” overwhelms them with seemingly intelligent arguments which, when properly examined, make little to no sense. At that point the person gives up and begins just agreeing with this “expert” and tries to retreat while the “expert” pushes on in a constant barrage of bad points. That’s stupid, if they are wrong derail them and call them out. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I know I cannot win against idiots, I can’t beat that opponent. All I can do is make their friends realise just what a dumbass that person is. That’s something I do from time to time.
4. People that post some overly emotional crap and then just tell everyone they’re ok.
Bitch, you are either not ok or you’re looking for attention. If you weren’t, then why post it? “Oh noes I’m constantly being walked over!”, too bad son. If you are constantly being walked over, then get off the footpath. Get on the road and maybe you’ll be run over. But what I actually mean is, learn from the bloody past. Observe the events that led to that situation and try to be mindful of them occurring in the future. It takes time and you won’t always get it right but you do get better and seeing signs.
5. People that actually believe those, “Who you will fall in with!”, “When you’ll die!”, “When you’ll get married!” and etc crap apps on facebook.
Those are programmers. Random bloody number generators. One of them selects an age which is higher than your current age and the other picks a value from an array, (This is how I’d do it and I know squat about programming), which then picks the time/place/cause of death/name. You can easily refine that process and program to include other values. It is random chance. It is not telepathy, precognition, magic, psychic or any other supernatural or otherwise retarded power that belongs in a cheap carnival tent. Go home.
6. People that tell you religion is not harmful, is only harmful due to interpretations, is part of the natural order or any other of that crap.
Go sit in the corner. Sit right fucking now. AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. Religion is neither necessary or provable one way or another. And yet due to whatever spiritual or magical sky man beliefs people have, they’ll imprison, deny and exile others. Check that guy in Indonesia recently. He got beat up, taken into protective custody, charged with blasphemy, faces jail time and loss of employment because he said on facebook, “There is no God” or “I don’t believe in God”. They beat him up. They took away his freedom. They took away his work. And they would have killed him. And that’s the group of people that get to go the magic skyland?
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Now, that to me seems stupid. Not just a little stupid but the kind of well meaning useless “let’s go pray to a being which probably isn’t there and if they are they’re indifferent to our pleas,” kind of way. It’s stupid in the sense that it solves no problem and doesn’t even talk about the issue and yet people feel like they’ve accomplished something, that this marks their support for people with cancer and cancer research. It doesn’t; it’s an exercise in stupid, futile self illusion. It offers the thin illusion that you’re helping when in actuality, you’re probably just being detrimental.
This is just some stupid way of avoiding the issue while absolving yourself from guilt. It’s a self-congratulatory response of “Oh hey, this way I can help beat cancer because it’s a personal thing for,” sorry but that’s not how it works exactly. These sorts of wishes and prayers detract from real responses and once more nothing really gets done, we sit back hoping that the fucking positive feeling and the power of the mind is going to make the difference in the huge fucking battle that is our lives. No, that’s not how it works, hope might help you stay sane because it gives you something nice to aim for but it achieves nothing by itself. It needs action, planning and direct thought to be paid to it. You can’t stare at the problem, ignore the solution and expect it to fix itself. I don’t care if your action is fucking minimal, if it’s just to support a cancer group or to give a message to loved one with cancer or who has someone with cancer in their lives, that little piece of action achieved something. Even liking a facebook group can be useful; it can promote that group and if they get enough exposure they might see more donations or assistance. Just wishing alone though… it’s worthless.
It distracts us from actually taking action by hiding it behind that illusion that we have actually made a difference. It takes away from those who are working for a solution, either long or short term and it is a little detrimental. Everyone at some stage or another, through one means or another will be impacted by cancer, it’s a scary disease which basically the human body going to war against itself. Scary shit. It can strike anyone at just about any age. There are many different ways that cancer can degrade your well being. So, I can understand the motive but I cannot understand the lack of thought, the simple impulse decision click that gets these shitty little viral campaigns rolling. Then no one stops to think about it and what repercussions there are. Fuck. I mean there’s people who tell me I’m different, I’m the odd one and it’s lucky it’s only me like this. And I just ask why? If more people thought like me, we might actually hit a fucking point where something is achieved. But fuck, what are you going to do? You ignore these things and you feel like it’s going to shit you. You point it out and you’re told you’re uptight.
If some dumbass highlighted this point, other dumbasses would agree, I highlight and fuck, well I’m an uptight bastard who needs to loosen up and stop thinking. Fuck that.
I toyed with the idea of flaming the entire concept of making cancer not exist. I mean surely cancer has knocked off a lot of evil or ridiculously fucked up people and may have prevented others from going down that kind of path. Maybe cancer’s great way of challenging people is just a silver lining. But all that sounds too much like a “blessing in disguise from god,” type of argument. I mean, you don’t really need the curse to be stronger, you always were, you just needed it to realise that. And it didn’t have to be cancer. Could have been any other challenge. But you might have broken. We lend cancer this mythical position in our lives, the be all and end all of disease pretty much. It’s a soap opera one liner for drama and emotional anguish. We respond differently to cancer than we do to other things.
So, maybe cancer existence isn’t all bad and I might get flamed for that. Maybe we don’t need to have cancer not exist but simply find a better way to cure it. Maybe we should stop giving ourselves little distractions and little ideas that convince us we’re helping when all it’s all just a distraction.
There’s a saying: Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which one fills up first. It’s the shit because wishes don’t really work and humanity is full of shit.
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Now, this is very reminiscent of my post on art. Check it, it’s titled Art and it’s some where on my little tumblr thingy. Poetry is another dying art and it’s one of the ones I think we should just let die. It’s had enough, it’s been beaten enough and now instead of being the domain of gifted writers it’s the fucking realm and symbol of a backward emo culture who have found words in their ridiculous books, don’t understand them and yet throw them into a mix other words they don’t understand and have the fucking temerity to call it poetry. Poetry is dying. It’s slipping and everyone who is trying to revive is merely putting one more fucking bullet in its corpse.
Pretty much these days if I want to read words that move me, I’ll read a story or some prose. I won’t bother with poems because I think the classics are on a pedestal and the new stuff is just… lacklustre; it doesn’t sparkle. If I want to have a bunch of jumbled words that seem emotional or inspiring or whatever, I’ll listen to music, it’s essentially poetry that is to a tune. And there’s more skill involved. I mean it’s not like anyone really rhymes any more and even when it does rhyme it barely covers the bases that people assign poetry to cover. “Inspirational, emotionally devastating and befitting of my predicament,” seems to be the criteria.
To even create poetry these days all you need to do is find some words that sound mystical or vaguely powerful and combine them in a way that seems cosmically wise. Sounds hard? Not really:
“The world drifts on an oblique form, never truly direct, never truly gone,
The world falls in a pattern of seemingly unending and undiluted darkness that bites into the mind
The world cuts us and let’s us bleed upon the white that is our very souls,”
That’s pretty typical of I imagine poetry of the latest emo generation to resemble, ‘cept with my lovesick bullshit. I mean there may still be some art left, there may still be some poetry left to be discovered and it may still have that feeling of wonder and harmony with ourselves in it. So, I’m a little sick of people claiming to be poets because they either cobble words together to form which on the surface seems artistic or “deep” or because they can rhyme and are just rappers without a beat. I have more respect for the rapper.
So, poetry… it’s either dead or dying. It certainly isn’t in its prime and I don’t think we’ll see it ever return. The classics will remain, we’ll perfect them but we won’t create anything new. Welcome to the stagnation of ideas.
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